Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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