the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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