That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
