SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
