It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
