your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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