420 ftw
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
