I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
