I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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