Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
