im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
