Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
