It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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