do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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