i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My liver just broke up with me...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
