3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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