I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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