allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Don't make out with my wife yet
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
one might say we're banned from that church
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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