i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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