You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
