Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
