so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
