he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
