North Korea, Best Korea!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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