Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
