I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
