Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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