11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
