Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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