the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
