Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
