i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
