I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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