my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
