Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
