Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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