What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
