Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
