i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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