dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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