Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
