Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
