This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
