I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
