Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
