dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
