We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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