You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
