So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
