hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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