dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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